No More Prostate Exams If You Are Over 75

by Dan Bimrose


I have several things to look forward to as I undergo the natural aging process. At 55 I will start receiving discounts on my coffee at McDonalds. At 67 I MAY be able to start receiving my full amount of Social Security. And now at 75 I will not have to worry about another doctor delving into, how shall I say it, my darker regions.

The recommendation which was made by The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force states that there is little to no good that can be done by performing prostate screenings at that age. In fact the report states that it could do more harm than good if you decide to treat for prostate cancer. I wonder if the people behind this report were all men. Because I cannot imagine a woman, especially one who had given childbirth would give men a pass on this.

The list of potential harms from treatments include erectile dysfunction and bladder control and bowel problems. I was under the impression that all of these problems just come naturally with old age but I am not going to question the report.

It seems that even though prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths in men it tends to be a very slow growing cancer. In fact many tumors grow so slowly they never endanger lives.

My final thoughts on this report.

If I can go to the doctors office and he can leave the rubber gloves in the box and the lubricant in its container then that is a good thing. However I would not mind at that point in my life if he decided to blow up the rubber glove so that it looked like a chicken. Depending on my mental status I might even find it quite entertaining.

I think that when I am 75 I just do not want to know about what might kill me especially if something else is likely to take me first. Just direct me to the next game of euchre and I hoped it is at a table under a palm tree somewhere very, very warm.

And finally if I am 75 and erectile dysfunction is even an issue do not even think about screwing that up.